Reprint Compliments of Men At The Cross By Joe White

1 Corinthians 7: 2, 9

"2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion"

VIDEO OF THE DAY

A fire can be friend or foe.

Most of us have experienced a fire in the dead of winter. When all is withered and white outside, the hearth inside is toasty and warm. Others might recall a crackling campfire with close friends drawn around it, sharing stories and a bag of marshmallows.

But then there is the other kind of fire-the kind that rages out of control, the kind that nobody likes to remember. The terrible Chicago fire ... the explosion of the Hindenburg ... the death of a child playing too close to the furnace. The only good thing about this kind of fire is that it reminds us of an eternal concept: every perfect gift of God can go awry if not managed properly.

One such gift-the gift of sex-was intended by God to be the fiery fulfillment of monogamous marriage. It warms ... it sparks ... and yes, at times it even protects a husband and wife from the lusts of this world. As a Christian who feels called by God to minister to the youth of planet Earth, I am intrigued by the analogy of fire and human sexuality. It helps me explain why the God who made it is the same God who says "avoid it until you're married". You see, every good fire requires three elements: fuel, oxygen and spark. Any one of these in inadequate amounts decreases the possibility of combustion. If we think of "the spark" as one's hormones, and "the oxygen" as one's environment, and "the fuel" as one's emotions, then we can understand the Maker's mentality when He warns us not to "play with matches".

Let me briefly touch on "the fuel" of sexual relationship.

One particular fuel (or emotion) that can create intense heat in pre-marital relationships is the feeling of fear. Have you ever been so afraid to try something that you actually got a "rush" when you finally did it? Snowboarding down a black diamond in the Rockies does it for me. Some people get that same feeling from pedaling as fast as they can down a hill on a mountain bike, or soloing a technical limb up a sheer cliff. The point is, fear can mask itself as fun. If this feeling is introduced over and over in a pre-marital sexual relationship, then the couple gets accustomed to it. Problems arise when the "fuel" of fear is removed at the wedding altar. No longer must the couple fear being discovered by friends or family. No longer must they fear pregnancy. If they are Christians, no longer must they fear God's judgment on fornication. Inevitably the flames of their passion, once fueled by fear, begins to burn differently, and the couple deduces that marital fire pales in comparison to pre-marital fire. They tell themselves they are "no longer in love". Divorce is not far behind.

Social diseases and unwanted pregnancies aside, sex before marriage is a bad idea. Waiting until marriage insures that sex will be fueled by love not lust, and true friendship rather than fear. This is how the Maker of fire intended it to be.

QUESTIONS:

1. List the ways one can get "burned" by experimenting with premarital sex.
2. List the blessings of waiting until marriage.
3. Are you committed to the first list or the second list?

LIFELINE:

God's gift of sex is intended only for the marriage relationship. Sex outside of marriage is sin. Discuss the motivations for engaging in sexual sin.

joe@menatthecross.org | Men at the Cross | 1353 Lake Shore Dr. | Branson | MO | 65616