Yesterday we learned how to deal with anger in our life. Today we’ll discover God’s principle for preventing long-term bitterness. The key is to deal with this emotion promptly.
It’s important to realize that believers can have moments of anger and still remain right with God. Yet anger that lingers and festers is an opportunity for Satan. He quickly plants justifications in our mind: That person deserves to be yelled at. You shouldn’t be treated that way! God understands that you’re frustrated. By handing people excuses to harbor fury, Satan creates a stronghold in their life. It is a foolish person who allows anger to reside in his or her heart (Eccl. 7:9).
We are not to lay even one brick for the devil’s stronghold. Instead, believers must respond to provocation by forgiving others as God forgives. His mercy is unconditional; there’s no wrong that He will not pardon. Believers with long-standing anger cannot come before God and justify harboring resentment. So we must release it at once through forgiveness.
We can further protect ourselves by identifying frequent irritants. When those situations (or people) loom, we should pray that God makes us “quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19). That is the spiritual fruit of self-control in action.
Anger produces only rotten fruit—such as sour relationships or a poor witness. The wise believer takes a two-fold approach to dealing with it. First, heeding the Bible’s many warnings about this dangerous emotion, be vigilant against it. And second, forsake your anger in favor of forgiveness.
A righteous life has no room for lingering anger, whether in the form of rage or resentment. Fury that hardens in our hearts becomes a stronghold for Satan.
The fleshly method for “curing” wrath is to either let it out or suppress it. Neither is effective for solving problems or relieving the anger. However, God’s way of dealing with this dangerous emotion dissolves it and sets the believer free. As today’s passage reminds us, we are to “let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from [us], along with all malice” (v. 31).
Whether we are annoyed at ourselves, another person, or God, we have to own that feeling. Pretending that the emotion doesn’t exist or that we’ve somehow risen above anger is useless. If you’re angry, admit it and then identify the source. Knowing who or what ignited the initial fury can prevent people from misdirecting irritation onto the innocent.
Here are some questions to help in identifying a source of anger:
• Why am I angry? At whom am I angry?
• What caused me to feel/act this way?
• Where or when did this feeling start?
• Have I been angry a long time?
Once we know the source of our anger, it’s time to forgive. Fury and unforgiveness often go together, and both will drag us down. God calls us to set them aside and take up love and kindness instead. Forsaking anger means walking in His will with a light step.
One of the disciples saw Jesus praying and made the request, “Lord, teach us to pray” (Luke 11:1). If Christ’s close associates needed instruction, then surely we, too, must learn about prayer. Thankfully, there are many examples in Scripture for us to follow, such as the passage we looked at yesterday.
Paul’s first-century requests for the people of Colossae are not only still applicable; they’re also instructive in terms of types of petitions to make on behalf of others. For instance, Paul prayed that these people would know God (Col. 1:10). In other words, he wanted them to grow in the Lord and not stagnate in their faith. This transformation takes place by studying the Word, applying biblical principles, and heeding the consequences of obedience.
Another plea was for the Colossians to experience God’s power (v. 11). The apostle wanted them to have the Lord’s supernatural energy and the strength they’d need to carry out His will. What is impossible by man’s effort becomes possible when believers rely on God. Then the glory rightly goes to Him.
Finally, Paul asked that they would give thanks joyously (vv. 11-12). This indicates the apostle’s hope that they would exhibit the proper attitude, expressing gratefulness even during difficult situations.
In church, we often hear people asking for prayer. And many believers make a prayer list so they don’t forget to intercede for certain individuals during the week. Using Paul’s example, we can be confident that we are praying for those on our list in a manner that pleases the Lord and aligns with His will.
Philippians 4:6 says that it’s good to bring requests to the Lord, and we do often ask Him for certain blessings, desired outcomes, and healing for loved ones. But there are times when, in God’s omniscience, He determines that a “no” would ultimately result in greater good.
So, what supplications can you be sure are in accordance with His will? Paul recorded specific petitions he made on behalf of the Colossians, and you can offer these life-changing prayers for people in your own life as well.
First, request that they “be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding” (Col. 1:9). In this way, you are asking God to give them direction and the ability to see life from His viewpoint.
Second, ask that they “will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord” (v. 10). The only way to succeed in this is through the control of the Holy Spirit—He fills hearts with a longing for God and creates the desire to please Him through obedience.
Third, pray that their life would count (v. 10). There is a difference between being busy and being fruitful. Many Christians assume that to have an impact for God, they must volunteer in numerous ministries at church or become a missionary or pastor. But the truth is, effectiveness in God’s work depends on what He calls each person to do.
Too often, Christians pray for others only during hardships. But Paul continuously lifted up the Colossians to our Father (v. 9). As you mention others by name to the Lord, consider the areas that the apostle addressed.
Have you ever felt as if God were giving you the silent treatment? Perhaps you prayed and asked Him to give you direction for your life but didn’t hear a thing. Maybe you are going through some physical illness or a family problem, and nothing’s happening even though you’ve pleaded with God.
How do you respond when the Lord doesn’t appear to be answering your prayers? Do you take advantage of the opportunity to learn something from the experience, or do you simply conclude that He is ignoring you? Typical responses are disappointment (God let me down), discouragement (I should stop praying), confusion (Where is God?), feelings of guilt (I did something wrong), anger (God isn’t faithful!) and fear (God has deserted me).
Today’s passage gives us a good example of a time when the Lord seemed unconcerned with the life of someone He loved. On hearing that His friend was sick and about to die, Jesus delayed doing anything for two days! His disciples and the dying man’s sisters—Mary and Martha—no doubt wondered why Jesus seemed not to care. Yet they continued to trust Him, and ultimately their faith was strengthened.
When we can’t hear God, it doesn’t mean He’s asleep or unaware of our circumstances. It also doesn’t mean He is going to deny our request. However, He wants us to have an intimate relationship with Him that is independent of how He responds to our prayers—we must love Him just because He is God. Consider the basis of your love for the Lord, and ask Him to help you make it unconditional.
